5 Ways to be Kinder to Yourself
Art by Kalie Yang
Made a mistake? Hold on to the lesson not what you did wrong
Stop listening to the loud critical voice
Show up for yourself and listen to your feelings
Celebrate your growth
Do what you love
“Take a moment and think about when was the last time you were kind to yourself. It’s probably hard to remember”. But I bet you remember the last time you were self-judgemental. Was it two minutes ago or an hour ago?
Life can be challenging and during these times we often forget to practice self-kindness. To find meaning in this chaos, being kind to yourself is extremely important. Self-compassion is a source of motivation, strength, and resilience.
Here are 5 ways to be kinder to yourself
1) Made a mistake? Hold on to the lesson and not what you did wrong
When something goes wrong, we usually blame ourselves for not anticipating it. But the negative self-talk does not help to rectify the situation and only weighs you down. A better way of seeing this situation would be to be curious about it and understanding its lesson. This way you respect your emotions and practice self-compassion.
Be curious about a situation to learn from it
2) Stop listening to the loud critical voice
The loud critical voice that constantly whispers negative things to you is not your friend. While it is easy to fall prey to it, we must resist the urge to believe every single thing it tells us since most of the time, it is not our reality. Listen to the soft, kinder voice and the best way to listen to your other voice, the kinder one, is by rejecting everything the loud critical voice says. Every time you think you are not enough, reject that thought and listen to the kinder voice whispering that you are enough and can achieve anything that you set your mind to.
The loud critical voice inside your head is not your friend
3) Show up for yourself and listen to your feelings—don’t judge yourself
We are hypocrites. When a friend is having a bad day, we show up for them and acknowledge their feelings. However, when we are having a bad day, we refuse to even listen to our feelings assuming that we are too sensitive. Judging yourself is unkind. It is okay to feel the way you feel about a certain situation. The next time you are having a bad day, sit and think about your feelings and acknowledge them. Tell yourself that it is okay to feel a certain way and embrace your thoughts. Be kind to your feelings.
Self-judgment is unkind
4) Celebrate your growth
Every day you grow as a person. The person you are today and were a year ago are different people. Celebrate your growth by being proud of your journey even when it is unconventional and does not meet societal standards. You and your journey are unique and as long as you are growing, you are making progress. Recognizing your achievements and how far you have come is one of the best ways to be kind to yourself.
Celebrate your growth by being proud of your journey
5) Do what you love
Doing what you love is an act of self-kindness. When you practice what you love, be it reading, painting, or traveling, it ignites your soul. It helps you to feel more optimistic about yourself. No matter how loud the inner critical voice is, you will be able to ignore it because every day or once a week you spend your time doing something you love.
Self-kindness is difficult but practicing it will help you feel motivated and energized. However, if at any point in time you struggle with self-kindness, please do not be hard on yourself. Acknowledge your feelings and try not to criticize yourself. You are doing the best you can with what you have got.
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