What Is Urge Surfing?

Written By Andy Cockburn & Maria Singeris

Photo by Matt Paul Catalano on Unsplash‍ ‍

When it comes to urges, fighting and giving in aren’t your only two options.

Once you understand your urges, you’re able to ride them out.

This is called urge surfing.

So whether its junk food calling your name, the need to check your phone for the fiftieth time, or the desire to return to a habit you’ve been trying to break, stopping doesn’t have to be a struggle.

Once you see how urges work, you’ll be able to watch them rise and fall like waves in the ocean.

Urges Explained

While urges are a normal part of being human, they can sometimes dominate our thoughts and feel impossible to control.

Some of the things we crave are socially acceptable (chocolate, caffeine, and social connection) while others can be more troubling (gambling, out-of-control spending, alcohol abuse, and drugs).

But whatever it is you’re craving, the mechanism driving you is the same.

Urges develop through patterns of conditioning and reinforcement. Our brains associate certain situations, emotions, or environments with rewarding experiences.

Stress, loneliness, boredom, or anxiety can trigger cravings as a means of regulating our nervous system or distracting from discomfort. Eventually, these responses can become habitual, happening automatically when we are presented with a certain stimulus.

Urges can even drive your actions without ever entering your conscious awareness. For example, while making dinner, you may reach for a cookie automatically. Or if you have a bug bite, you may find yourself scratching it without thinking.

Several psychological factors create connections in our brains that trigger these urges:

  • Conditioning: When we repeatedly form a connection between a cue or stimulus (taking a break from work) and a rewarding experience (smoking a cigarette), the cue triggers an urge to drive us towards the reward.

  • Reinforcement: When experiencing pleasure from a particular behaviour (eating a sugary doughnut), it strengthens the association between the behaviour and the reward, leading to further cravings or urges.

  • Emotional and cognitive factors: Negative emotions, such as stress, anger, and loneliness, can trigger urges as we attempt to alleviate or escape from how we feel. We experience anxiety and in order to calm our nerves, we reach for a drink as we associate it with that calming effect. 

How To Overcome Urges

But while urges can be very powerful at driving our behaviour, they have one huge flaw: Urges rarely last longer than 30 minutes if you don’t feed into them.

We feed urges through ruminating, giving them attention, planning to fulfill them, justifying them, fighting them, or trying to suppress them.

Urges will pass on their own if we allow them to. Urge surfing exploits the transient nature of urges to keep you calm and in control of your own actions.

Urge Surfing

Originally developed by Dr. Alan Marlatt in the early 1980s, urge surfing is a mindfulness-based technique that teaches us how to observe cravings without judgment.

If done correctly, urge surfing allows us to watch urge rise and fall like waves in the ocean, without feeling compelled to react.

Urge surfing is about gaining perspective. It helps you recognize when you’re being controlled by urges, take stock of your feelings, and then respond with awareness, self-compassion, and intention. 

By developing an accepting, nonreactive outlook, you can cope with cravings and urges when treating various addictive substances and behaviours.

So how can you incorporate urge surfing into your tool kit?

It’s all about staying mindful, being present, and examining your urges rather than trying to suppress it or fight it.

How To Urge Surf

When you feel a craving, follow these steps:

  • Notice the urge as it arises without immediately reacting to it.

  • Focus on bodily sensations connected to the craving, such as chest tightness, heaviness, restlessness, or tension.

  • Observe without judgment and remind yourself that urges are temporary.

  • Focus on your breathing and use it as an anchor to stay present.

  • Imagine the urge like a wave rising, peaking, and eventually falling away.

  • Watch how the sensation changes over time and begins to taper off.

  • Continue breathing through the urge until it passes naturally.

  • Practice self-compassion and acknowledge your effort even if you give in to the urge.

By picturing urges as waves, you learn to ride them as they naturally ebb and flow, rather than fighting the urge or giving in to it.

It is completely normal to experience emotional discomfort while surfing an urge. Cravings can feel intense in the moment, and sitting with them will feel uncomfortable or challenging, at least at first.

But this discomfort is an opportunity to look inward. This is why understanding bodily sensations is such an important part of the process. 

Identifying Bodily Sensations While Surfing the Urge

Observe the feelings that come into your body while you’re feel the urge:

  • Does the sensation feel tight or loose?

  • Does it feel warm or cold?

  • Where is it located in the body?

  • Are the edges sharp and defined, or soft and fuzzy?

  • How does the sensation shift with each breath?

By recognizing the urge and the sensations it brings with it, you can let it pass without reacting.

If you ruminate on the urge, it will likely grow. By focusing on the sensation, rather than the urge itself, you’re moving closer to the root cause and away from compulsive behaviour.

And remember, urge surfing is a skill and like any skill, it takes practice. So while urge surfing won’t eliminate your urges, the more you reach for it, the less your cravings will bother you and the easier it will become to stay in control.

Why Urge Surfing Works According To Science

Urge surfing increases self awareness, leading to a more profound understanding of triggers and thoughts. It helps you develop nonreactivity and acceptance, allowing you to observe the cravings without demanding a reaction from yourself.

Urge surfing helps break automatic response patterns, allowing the natural cycle of cravings to decrease the habitual engagement that leads to addictive behaviours.

Benefits of Urge Surfing

  • Enhances emotional regulation

  • Increasing self control and conscious decision making

  • Creates long term behavioural changes

  • Reduces impulsivity

  • Enhances coping skills

  • Strengthens autonomy

Urge surfing isn’t a magic bullet. You must be prepared to slow down, be present and embrace self-awareness and mindfulness techniques. You also need to accept that the chance of relapse is not entirely eliminated.

Urge surfing works best as part of a comprehensive treatment plan rather than as a standalone solution. It requires practice and consistency to maximize its effectiveness.

But, each time you choose to ride the wave instead of reacting to it, you remind yourself that while an urge may feel powerful, it does not have the power to control you.

Further Resources

Sources

Andy Cockburn & Maria Singeris
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